Right, this is where things get to a big event in anyone's life and trust me, Good might not come out of this and things might get said when said it not and things go out of hand. In this case, it caused things to be really scary and I regret going in the long run. There might be a vlog for this but it will be delayed since there is an NDA for some of the content of this wedding from what was said. But it led to making me realise how the busy times affect me and maybe my life has become out of control.
The night before:
It was another day of work on Thursday and with the expectation of this event, it was going to be demand to l jump up to the very late night before, and you know was actually going to be a last-minute PC repair which parts were needed for replacing from a week ago. Customer after customer came in and with even some repairs now turned away to make sure I get the time. But as things get rushed, I didn't leave the shop until 6:53pm. Then it was a rushed pelt to bishops mead. Then it was 2 visits to sort out from across each other. But that led to some brain-stressing ones and finishing at 20:50 ish. i made my way to Morrisons to get some Pickle mayo, and wham refreshers ide duos and their buts, We got it for exactly £5 then get £0.01 change.
 |
| The Branston Pickle Mayo, Alloli, And the Ice Duos |
Then it was 9:15pm and the time to run to get the chance to come home. So the run was basically this time to get through their forest near Bere Alston, It started to be the case of running back on that road and as I was getting a bit tired but the rain was there in the forest. As I ran, my breath was covering the photo of the views from just near the shillamill tunnel.
 |
| The road and my breath make the fog |
 |
| The Forest and the fog |
But the run continued and it was heading on the road, a couple of cards passed by and then when on the farm lane, the rain was starting to be a bit heavier which in turn was meaning wet clothes on top. But then it was to get to the road and it was getting scary, blinding lights on sometimes both sides but luckily not at the same time. But It was soon Eventually I ran my way back and it was 10:30. So as knackered as I was it was I got back. Then it was to make a smoothie and a nice mix of pot noodles and tomato chilli couscous.
 |
| The late-night meal on Thursday |
So it comes down to then having to sort out a video, Since I managed to sort out the meal eaten, I got ready and then caught up on some admin. This led to getting a Can of Gfuel Pewdipie and it was nice since on Wednesday the intern gave me a sip of the sour cherry he wanted me to drop to his on Wednesday along with the keys so the shop was covered for the weekend. But this led to an all -nightery for finishing the vlog from Good Friday.
But then that was to be rendered between 6am and 7am, since it was around 3am in the morning I managed to sort out setting up a review for a Power bank that can charge the Laptop. But it was quite flat so that was needing to be charged up.
 |
| The Power Bank |
 |
| Charging the Power Bank |
But then it was a mini fap and making sure I was not too phased out since of the preparation, in all fairness a glass of the Rainbow Sherbet and also the can of pewdipie was all I needed to do the All-nighter which was better than the New Year's Eve Video editing.
So then it leads to dealing with Finley who wanted to come in at the 6am mark and then Mum was up at the 7am mark since she had to go for the makeup about 4 to 5 hours earlier. But then it's the morning.
The Day of the Wedding
The Morning Preparation
So still awake and nervous about what could happen worst case. So we begin to the stark contrast of making sure things go smoothly, for me it was charging the laptop up while it was uploading and also the library to be copied to the USB drive to then copy it to the desktop PC for editing later on, well especially macOS is now running on both machines easily, makes it better to do the editing like the good Friday run home vlog was about.
 |
| The Charging via the Powerbank |
But it was then going to be the case of Mum was ready to go by 7:45 am and I was than to eat a nice toasted ham Brantonaise sandwich and also a strawberry doughnut. While the clip was uploading.
 |
| The Ham Branstonaise Garlic Alloli Toasted Sandwich |
Then it was the start of copying the library to the PC and that let me manage to get things kicked in, so it was to get some emails sorted out in case people decide to call. But then it was nearing 9 am and time we decided to walk the dog. I and Dad were in loose clothes and it was to get Rosie walked since she was going to be on her own for the few hours ahead. But it was starting to clear up on the weather.
 |
| Rosie waiting to wait for the path to carry on |
But then I got back about the 10 am mark and it was actually a call to sort out which then was to get changed and also keep an eye on the CCTV to see how work was going, But then it was time to get the suit on, with the cufflinks on and also the chance with the other side of things, plus emailing people to let know what was going to happen. Then it was going to the changing to finish off and then time to get in the car for the suit, the weather was getting sunny.
 |
| A Selfie in the Suit |
 |
| Glass in the car |
The Wedding:
The Journey and Preparation
So the weather was really getting better and the sun appeared, my legs were shaking at the non-stop mark, and I started to breath heavy and also the vibe of how things were going to go which really did not make things any easier. Sure it was positive and Dad was seeming chirpy about this all. But it was soon there, about 11:45 we got there.
As we parked in the resort car park, which was the other side where I parked the bike for dropping off clothes for the plane in case things were going to be too much for me. So about the 12 mark, we got out of the car and I lifted the Ninja out of the golden-wrapped box.
We ended up turning right at the reception and then going towards the bedrooms, But then we ended up going down the golfer's bar, But that was not the right one and I was starting to feel a bit numb, so we walked to reception and dad had to hold it. But then as we got there, mum with her curled her hair and then she nagged me for shaking but then we were told to hang about and I was nerved out. This was after the dropping off of the presents in the room the reception was going to be.
 |
| The Reception |
then it was the key to how things were and Man I was going to be scared. But I was off to get a drink which was a glass of water to calm the nerves, But I was actually really getting to the point I could not even speak, like it was a very part of how things are scary and I was not going to be prepared for this. But Then I walked to the bar and had to write it down, So the glass of water was ordered and I Shook as I gulped it down, but then it was the chance to walk outside for some of the fresh air as more guests arrived. Outside the reception, I was greeted by the groom and he said that He was not nervous about spending the rest of his life with my sister which is a fair comment but also said just wish I could get over this day, I can relate but not the former.
It was greeting people like grandparents and it was also the wind was getting a bit gusty. But I had to argue with myself on how this had nothing to do with me but at the same time, I was also scared of what this means in the future. I reflected on this while out in the wind between 12:30 and 1pm.
 |
| The reflection and sky out |
So it was the last few minutes before the ceremony was going to happen and I walked my way back to the reception, I was scared and also had to then ask Dad to let me have the keys to go back to the car to pick up the tripod. I got to the car to pick it up and was very tempted to just stay in the car, but I forced myself to get it and go back. Since it was only moments away from the start of a big realisation for my life in a very small way.
The Ceremony
So It was time for me to get this done, I was also approached to put the flower on the suit but I shook my head when asked and turns out this was the rep spoken to in the email and she reminded me that the clothes were behind the reception. But Then the room was ready with the Postmaster mentioning it. But then it was time to go in there, the chairs were laid out nicely and the sun on the views was showing in, the only thing would be the column in the way.
 |
| The Guests sitting down |
So I positioned myself at the back, tripod at the ready and phone and Glass ready to go and this in turn was me to just be silent, sure my knees were starting to ache. But it was soon time for the Groom to go out and stand to wait for my sister to pop in.
 |
| The waiting |
 |
| The time on the screen shows the wait that is happening |
So then the music started playing and my sister walked in the door, with my hand holding her hand as they walked in, which in her white dress and would not know she was pregnant. But then it was time for this to happen and the service started.
The ceremony was the explanation about Marriage and love which was actually like a lecturer, with the way that Vows can be repeated in different ways and also about the except of what love is and actually, it was not as much or at all related to the Lord and Savour. So it was the vows which were traditional thick and thin of it all, so to cherish the good and bad and to love as a whole etc. Both said I do and some accidental slips of worse while repeating, but it was all in all, a peaceful and focused silence while this was done, ok one of the babies of my sister's mates was crying but that cannot be helped.
But it was eventually time those words were spoken and I felt a bit of a tear in my eye as it was heard, so the words were spoken of Mr and Mrs and then it was the legal witness signing from both families, Ed Shereen or was it another song which reminded me from one of the Twilight films kicked into play. Either way, it was a happy feeling for most of the crowd but also not as exciting part, a calm presence. Then it was the walking out with both and others followed.
I was starting to pack up and I was feeling a bit sick, knowing what was about to sink in some words that in a way make no fucking sense to me but in other ways, it was then me trying to get to the door.
I Froze, so the crowd was around the sister which is fair and completely whelming with the celebration of that simple fact of what just happened. But My legs were like jelly and it was then needing me to rush to the toilet after a bit of fresh air and reflect in the wind on what happened. But then It was that toilet rush, which I thought originally was locked but turned out was just a heavy door. I had to then go into the cubicle and freeze. This was me stuck in here for the next half hour at the very least.
My mind rushed and I say what sounds stupid but just hurts
I just lost my sister in a name wise, I'm now an only child in name
That just kept going through my head and also made me wish I could have had someone with me as Plus one, especially with the looking of it, I was the only single person/male there under 50, so the rest were married or in relationships, that was just making things worse and I had no clue on what this was indicating which later on would be. But then Dad shouted where are you and I said I'll be out, but then was not too long until Mum shouted for me to come out in 10 minutes or being dragged out, I was really shaking and to be fair the temptation to get the clothes and change was on and off most of the afternoon. But in the end, it was me having to come out, still trembling as I walked to go out, was in no way fucking prepared to have the confidence to speak to my sister let alone others in there. But then Mum moved me along to a seat overlooking the pool and got me a glass of water.
She asked why am I feeling this way and also that if I leave you'll ruin her big day, even though I've not even made direct eye contact with her let alone spoken to her with that message in my head being argued upon. But Mum left me to drink and I was still trembling and debating whether to leave or not. Since the part of this was to be the case of the drinks and quick break while the start of the reception was going
A Shakey/ grouped intermission
So this was the case of the main ceremony out of the way, I was shaking as well as my glass of ice cold water but it was going to then make the chance to get up and finally go into the room. My Sister was not there but others were, So I walk my way to the edge of the bar and my dad got me an Orange juice, which these events, those drinks are not going to go very well. But AS I drank it, the bro of the groom approached me and we chatted about some things.
- Work
- Chat GPT and other Open AI
- Windows 11 + Android
- Being an uncle
- Gfuel cans
My nerves were semi-eased but it was not for long since the weather was getting that bit of clear sky even with that strong galeforce winds. There was a fair bit of groups around, which for me was a chance to check my phone and check the CCTV while it was So this was when the chance for photos to be taken and I avoided that. Since it was nearly 3:30 and the time for the reception was coming up. But it was then time to get into the reception. Which was another time for the toilet on the guess to get there or to bail and leave. But I walked in shaking.
The Reception:
So this was going to be the maybe mellow part, but as I got in there, It was going to be the case of everyone walking in and soon with being behind or the tablets in front of them with the bridesmaid and groom and mum, dad, friends of fufu and well best man style. But My name was there, with grandparents and my grandad's brother's former ex-wife too. But my tummy was not feeling right which means the food will be skipped, my leg did not stop shaking for most of it and I was worried it will affect the video of the speeches to film.
 |
| The place card for the tablet I got sat on |
So this comes to the stage of hearing the speeches, which then leads to the chance of hearing some opinions I've never heard. Such as the chance to be taken down the aisle with hand in, Also the announcement of the kid along the way.
But then it comes to the case of hearing the Grooms Speech, which to be fair was a heartfelt one, it had its generic tone ins parts of what was repeated but it was the case of also being thanked for being involved in which to be fair the filming was the only involvement and that was just the purchase of Glass and also FCPX which was due to the upgrade of MacOS for it.
Then it comes to the best Man's speech and the references to the sweaty Fifa goals, (RIP FIFA when EA Sports FC will come in and work's EA rep will talk on it) and the time of how
this came to pass. but for some, it was coming to pass on that. We call clapped and then it was time to get to wait for food. This was me shaking and more shaking to go. But then it was me feeling a bit of a tummy feeling, like butterflies but a much nastier feeling. So the soup was skipped and then the lady next to me was doing small talk. So my nan was hardly eating anything and this in turn could be a bad time for her in the long run of this.
 |
| The Table in glass |
But it then lead to the waiting for the chicken, which was actually one of those posh ones with no sides like vegetables but it was the little bone sticking out of it. It had a tangy gravy but an onion or chive-style mash which I'll have to imitate for cooking eventually. But the taste was good and not too intense for the tummy.
 |
| The Chicken with Carrot, gravy, Chive mash and Runner beans |
So that was nicely eaten and it was a unique charm to it and to be fair, it really did fill the gap, although I was regretting missing the soup, that orange juice and nerves got the better of me. But then it was to the desert which the waitresses were coming out with them, but I had to send mine back due to the custard on it, since again I did not really have a choice for the menu since I was scared to sort that out months ago. So everyone started to tuck into the desert which meant that last-one-to-eat mentality and some chatter with the staff about picky is what I felt a bit of a vibe of. But then it was a sponge which was ok but felt a semi-bit like a bigger version of a microwaved one. But It was eaten pretty quickly.
 |
| The sponge for dessert |
Then it was more nervous and it was also the time the friends of Dad's across from me were not feeling well either and ended up being taken outside then she puked up, they were late and even run Dad as he walked my sister to the aisle as well. But that was soon to be out of the way and it was also time for grandparents were going to be picked up. So I also walked out of the hotel and made it to get some fresh air. But then as I came back my dad passed and asked what I was doing and then I said I'll make my way back then he said that mum was dropping off grandparents to the van outside. So it was time to leave, it was nearing 6:30pm and since parents were staying over, it was fine for them but with the gap between the Reception then the evening ceremony, it was going to be the tough part to either risk stress or that one mistake from having to drink or even shed a tear from seeing the first dance which I'll talk below on down.
The time to go.
So it was then time to wait for the wheelchair and walker with both grandparents on it, then with the help of a chap local to where I live now for £70, it was time to get them strapped in for Na's in the wheelchair and grandad in the front. But then both strapped in and my time to take a seat in the back, which then I had to get out for a short minute bit and said goodbye to my sister and the family, then it was a smooth drive back, over the hill and on the main road, but then it was listening to the chatter the driver and my grandad was he was talking about me to him (he did not realize I was behind them in the backseat) and also about when my sister was in pantomimes and village plays a year of many time ago.
As we passed an accident and up the hill, since a car and bike collided on it, but then it was soon time to get out since the chap dropped me at the school,, which in the blue sky, I got out after a car zoomed by, then leading to walk home, just up a road, which that reflecting was to start on what happened today.
I got home and greeted Rosie, which was then a quick toilet break before getting both the cat and Rosie outside, which the walk started and I ranted to myself about what was to come. As I kept talking, I was starting to slowly lose sight of how things are, and eventually, As I got to the field,, I sort of had an argument with myself that brought up some painful memories which were of a crush with the same name as sister and her now husband from years ago still that what memory could have been]
Things were feeling out of control and real mistakes were happening this was the weekend I let it take over my life, But the wind was evening picking up from that side So after breaking down, it was time to head home at about 7:30pm mark.
 |
| Things get too much but the walking in the evening was nice |
So I walked back and then it was time to just relax by watching some cartoons and also watching some Disney + with some leftover pot noodle couscous with the pickle mayo. But it was then typing up the post, I was feeling drained. So crashed out at 00:30 and then it was time to catch up with sleep since it was exhausting and my mind felt like it was lost it was going to be the end of simple things and another lesson of having to move on since life needs those lessons to sort out. Plus it was getting time I have to sort out a therapist since the shakes were coming in thick and fast on a daily basis. Soon that will be sorting its time out.
Saturday:
So I was still emotionally drained and to the point, I could not fully wake up until about 11:30am, my mind was scared and it was making me feel empty. But time takes its toll and it was time to walk Rosie. I got a phone call from Mum she said she was dropping flowers off which in itself was going to be a recovery and the stress they had with a fire in the hotel due to some towels that caught alight after being in the tumble. But then I walked Rosie, she was happy but at the same time, I was still scared.
I had to play at the bottom part of the playpark since there was an easter egg hunt to deal with, So the main field was mostly off limit
Now on the way back, 3 sausage-looking dogs were running on the road since they were let out and started barking at Rosie I had to pick her up and the dogs started to jump up at me and then Rosie was snarling and close to biting my face. The lady apologised and said she did not know the dogs were let out. So we eventually rushed out and then I got back to make lunch before my parents got home about 10 minutes later.
Once they got back and we greeted and chatted, It was time to drive to both grandparents of my dad's side's graves, one was having to top the water up for the flowers on the grave and then it was time to go to Calstock for the Grandad's fiance's grave to top the flowers up. This was the first time to see the grave since she died the day after I saw her in August 2020. So then it was time to go to the carpark in Calstock which was fully packed but we got out and walked our way to Cotehele, which was quite busy on the path and pretty dry on it. But we then pass some of the gardens and the signs of spring were going were showing for sure.
 |
| The gardens |
As I walked down, a girl from the midlands I've been speaking to was wondering how the vouchers worked from nearly 2 weeks ago, she was happy and then it was to sit by the quay and talk about the wedding again with my parents. The ice cream was a Lemon swirl and Chocolate and it was a nice mix. But I'll try to have sorbets more instead now.
 |
| The Double cone ice creams |
Then it was more reflecting before the walk in the sun home, when the sky was still blue, and the spring was warm, but it was then time to get back to the car. Since it was to reflect on this day and the vibe was still warm for the family of the wedding the day before. But we then got back and it was time to drive home, the social club was packed and the pub was still packed pretty much.
Then we got home and it was time to sit outside with more chats in the sun as well as the parts of the leftover wedding cake. Which was nice but rich, the icing was very nice too. I had more slices from this day on than I should but for a bottom-tier (not quality-wise) cake, it was just mmm.
 |
| The slice of chocolate wedding cake |
So this comes to the point of trying to get this typed up, I'll be honest and say this takes a lot of time more to do than it seems but it was also the case of the well that was pretty much the last 2 days off I'll have not Mondays and Sundays for a fair while. But it was a nice curry made for the tea using some Chicken prawn noodles.
 |
| The chicken prawn noodles in a curry with extra rice, crisps and mayo |
Well, that, for now, will be it, this was then to chat and type this up, the next days were going to be tough choices to hear about and a post I'll catch up about the April. But as some people have new beginnings, things of the past are starting to come to an end and I'm starting to remember this quite badly or really learn this rule of unwritten tales of life.
But for now, take care, my future can get worse but it will start to jump up eventually.
omracer